All children deserve to feel safe. But the reality is that there are many that have childhoods that do not provide a nurturing, safe environment. And this leaves so many with a wounded inner child as adults. The cry you hear from deep within your heart comes from your wounded child. As an adult you need to stop, notice, and listen to you inner child. You cannot reach your full potential without healing the inner child’s pain and transforming their sadness, fear or anger.
Your inner child is the part of your innermost self that retains its innocence and wonder at the world. A healthy inner child you connect to will inspire and excite you about life. But if it is wounded from childhood trauma, you will feel disconnected from the world around you, unhappy, tired and empty. These wounds stay with you throughout your life. While you may think there is nothing you can do to heal them, that is not the truth.
How your Inner Child becomes Wounded
According to psychologist Carl Jung, your inner child is the part of you that influences all the decisions you make
and all you do. Your inner child represents who you were as a child but it never grew up. This is where all your
emotions and memories live, good or bad. These are what you learn while you depend on your family as you grow up. While there are happy memories and associations, there may also be harmful and negative experiences perpetrated at the hands of those who were meant to nurture and keep you safe. So if you have a wounded child, it will have a negative impact on different parts of your life including your mental health.
As a child, did you suffer childhood:
- Abuse be it sexual, physical, emotional or mental
- Unjust punishment
- Being put down?
If you went through any of these as a child, then your inner child may be wounded.
Childhood Traumatic Experiences
For a child to feel safe, it takes three things—emotional and psychological wellbeing, and physical safety. A child
feels safe when their family respects their boundaries and needs. But it is traumatic when a child does not have
these needs met. It is scary and causes hypervigilance and this never really goes away as an adult. This can leave
you seeing the world as dangerous as you still have the painful childhood wounds that you may be unknowingly
Did you ever experience any of the following as a child from the people who looked after you:
- Not allowed to play or have fun or be spontaneous
- Punishment for having an opinion or speaking up
- Strong emotions were discouraged
- Screamed and yelled at
- Physically abused
- Continuously shamed?
When you do not receive the love and support you need as a child, you will continue to hurt as an adult unless you
heal your inner child.
Three Types of Neglect
While every child deserves to have their needs met, unfortunately in today’s society many children suffer from some type of neglect. And it is this that causes childhood trauma. There are three main types of neglect:
- Emotional neglect. Emotional neglect is when the people who care for you have no interest in meeting your
emotional needs of love, respect or support. As an adult, this can cause:
- Suppressed emotions
- Lack of self-esteem and confidence
- Avoiding getting close to others emotionally or intimacy
- Ignoring your own emotional needs.
- Psychological neglect. Psychological neglect is when your carers do not listen or nurture you as a child. For
example, they may yell at you, call you names, ridicule you, make threats or not allow you any privacy. As an adult this can manifest as:
- Mental health conditions
- A lack of love for yourself
- Deep rooted anger
- Physical illnesses
- No respect for other people
- Difficulty cultivating healthy relationships.
- Physical neglect. During physical neglect, your carers violate your physical needs such as not providing enough food or a safe home. It also includes physical abuse such as sexual abuse. As an adult this can cause:
- Lack of self-esteem and confidence
- Addictions such as food, alcohol and drugs
- Eating disorders
- Behaving violently
- Problems with sexuality.
Signs you have a Wounded Inner Child
Before you can heal your inner child, you have to acknowledge your inner child exists and needs healing. The trauma your inner child feels directly relates to how you feel unsafe in the world. Following are just some of the signs you have a wounded inner child:
- Small, seemingly insignificant incidents send you spiralling out of control.
- Feeling guilty for setting boundaries for other people.
- Rebelling for the sake of it.
- Enjoying conflict or you avoid it at all costs.
- Always wanting to please everyone.
- Knowing something is wrong with you without knowing what it is.
- Everything has to be perfect.
- Rigid in your ideas and beliefs.
- Driven to over achieve.
- Changes and new people and situations cause anxiety.
- Trusting others is difficult.
- Hoarding to the point where it negatively affects you and your family.
- Inability to let go of people and possessions that no longer serve you well.
- Disliking what you see when looking into a mirror.
- Expressing emotions makes you feel shame.
- Feeling as if you are unlovable or do not deserve love.
- Belittling and constantly criticising yourself harshly.
- Constantly seek validation from others.
- Fearing others will abandon you.
- Difficulty starting and finishing things.
If any of these are familiar, there is a good chance you are living with a wounded inner child.
How your Inner Child Influences your Life
You inner child lives within your mid and influences all parts of your life. As an adult, it secretly controls you
which means your inner child is charge of your life. A wounded inner child is full of shame, anger and even rage
after the trauma that affected it during childhood. And it is from this place you may be making decisions.
Can you see? Imagine a child trying to make sense of an adult world. Making decisions about your career and
relationships. This is what your inner child does without you realising and it can often end in everything going
This small part of yourself is lost, insecure, afraid and anxious, and makes your life difficult. But there is hope.
You can heal the wounds of the past. You need to recognise and acknowledge the pain of childhood trauma and then release it. But you may not be able to do this alone. Do you need help?
Blissiree Pty Ltd
A child’s mind does not fully develop until the age of 15. During this time the mind develops an outer layer to
protect the mind. It supports the developing brain against emotional pain and suffering. This outer layer is what I
refer to as the emotional body.
The emotional body stores emotions and feelings so the developing mind can support the brain in its ability to
construct reality at any given moment based on perception.
If the emotional body is filled with traumatic emotions from abuse, bullying, neglect, abandonment, rejection or
punishment, your mind goes into protection mode, your heart becomes guarded and you may become defensive.
When you survive trauma as a child, your emotional body signals this to the subconscious which bypasses the
unconscious and stores the memory in your genes as a safety mechanism to protect the mind. This process creates
unconscious memory which is why so many traumatised children recall the events of their childhood.
The emotional body becomes integrated into your identity by the age of 15. This is when the wounded child is created and becomes embedded into the psyche.
If you do not release and heal the wounded child, you will always have underlying feelings of uneasiness , misery,
loneliness, unhappiness and discontentment..
When the wounded child triggers, it defaults into a state of contraction. In this state the brain is more
susceptible to suicidal thoughts, depression, negative emotions, toxic shame, anxiety, hate, aggression, abuse and
violent behaviour to name a few.
Healing the Wounded Child
Healing your wounded child is not easy without help. It can affect how you make decisions—good or bad—and all parts of your daily life. Until you do something to heal your wounded inner child, you are unlikely to live life to your full potential. It will continue to negatively impact your life.
The Blissiree Pty Ltd is pioneering a new technique. A natural treatment that may help you heal your wounded inner
child. It only requires for you to relax. Highly trained facilitators help you learn to recognise the triggers and
turn them around so you have a new perspective. It is about forgiving and releasing the pain of the past. This may
help you to achieve the goals you long to achieve in life. And you may notice an improvement after the first
If your inner child is crying out for help, it is time to turn it around. Time to do something positive. Seek help.
Take back control. You do not have to go through it alone. The sooner you get help, the sooner you can start taking
good care of your mental health. And enjoy life again and live up to your full potential.
If your wounded inner child causes you to struggle with everyday life, reach out to our professionals. When you are not coping, contact us. We can talk to you about how to get your life back on track. But if you reach a crisis
point, call us immediately. We are here to support you.
We can work with you over the phone, via Skype or in our Spas. Book in today for my special introductory offer for
just $49 (private health rebates apply) so you may learn to heal your inner child. We aim to help you cope with any mental health challenges and how they affect your life.
Let me Help Heal your Inner Child
My Healing the Wounded Child program may help you to heal. It is only two sessions and has helped many people. My aim is to help you cope better with all parts of your life. This may give you a new hope for the future. A future filled with happiness, peace and contentment in weeks not years so you can start living life to the fullest. Contact us to find out more about this special program.
Book a free 25-minute telehealth consultation with Blissiree Pty Ltd founder, Terri Bowman. Or discover a seamless way that may help you manage your emotional and mental health by becoming a member. It will give you access to more than 75 audio programs that may help you to live an inspired life.
What are you waiting for? Try us now. You have nothing to lose.