How To Control Anger Immediately

It can be a challenge sometimes to control your anger. You are not alone. It is something everyone has trouble with from time to time.

Do you find yourself screaming in frustration when stuck in traffic? Are the kids constantly testing your patience to the limit? Does a friend constantly disrespect you?

If you find yourself losing your temper more often than not, you may want to control anger before it controls you. When you anger is out of control, it can damage your health and relationships.

The following are 19 tips on how to control anger immediately.

1. Distract yourself by counting to 100

This is really simple. Distract yourself by counting to 100 when your temper begins rising. When you think about something other than what is making your angry, it can control anger immediately. This allows you to gather your thoughts before blowing a fuse.

2. What is making you angry?

It can help to diffuse your temper if you know what is making you angry. There can be lots of reasons for your temper to flare up. It is an understandable response when you see someone not being treated fairly.

But there can be times that you are unsure what sets you off. Some reasons could include:

  • Being under too much pressure.
  • Life is frustrating.
  • Hormonal changes that cause mood swings.
  • Money worries.
  • Someone or a situation that sets you off.

Whatever it is, if you first work out what sets you off, it can help you know how to control anger. This will help maintain your relationships and your sanity.

3. Escape mentally

Take a break from what is making your temper flare. Slip out to a quiet room or outside to mentally escape. A few moments on your own will help you mentally prepare to deal with the situation better.

Try visualising being in your favourite place. Focus on the details. Where are you? Is the sun shining? Are there birds singing? How tall are the trees?

Doing this can help calm your emotions and help you to learn how to control anger outbursts.

4. Change your self-talk

Knowing how to control anger immediately is a skill. So is changing your self-talk. How you talk to yourself can influence how angry you get in different situations.

When you tell yourself, “They don’t have a clue” or “How dare they treat me this way?” you are likely to fuel your anger.

Instead, try saying things that calm you down like:

  • “Ok, calm down. They are not worth it.”
  • “Timeout. Why let this upset me?”
  • “I need to burn off energy. I am going for a run.”
  • “There’s no point getting upset. I am only harming myself.”

5. Physically get moving

Physically getting moving is a good way to calm your anger. When you feel your temper rising go for a brisk walk, a run, ride your bike, or any other type of physical activity that you enjoy. Burn off that excess energy.

Make regular exercise a part of your weekly routine. It can help to reduce any stress and improve your tolerance to frustration. It clears your mind and gives you a better perspective about what makes you angry.

When you want to know how to control anger immediately, do something high energy.

6. Come up with solutions

Come up with solutions to what makes you mad. Is your father always late for dinner? Schedule meals later so he turns up on time. Does someone at work always raid your special coffee? Simple. Keep it somewhere they cannot find it. What about the kids. Are you always nagging them to clean their room? Instead of getting mad when they ignore you, shut the door.

There are just some things you cannot change so getting upset is not going to make a difference. In fact, it may only make things worse. So be realistic about what you can change.

7. Write it out

Try writing what makes you angry down. It helps you work out why you are angry and helps you learn how to control anger immediately.

Write an email to the person triggering your temper. Let them know why they make you angry. Talk about how you are reacting to the situation and how you would like to deal with the situation better. Be open and honest but try not to be accusatory. Own how you feel.

Before sending the email, read it over. Even sit on it overnight and read it again before sending it. In fact you may not feel the need to send it at all as reading what you wrote may put everything into perspective. Writing it down may also help you find the right words to talk with the person to resolve the situation face to face.

8. Practice forgiveness

Practice forgiving the people who do you wrong instead of losing your temper. It takes a lot of emotional intelligence to forgive someone that has done you wrong. If this is too much, at least pretend to forgive and instantly feel the anger disappear.

9. Avoid making accusations

Using the word ‘you’ in an argument to criticise or blame the other person for how you feel will only inflame the situation. Use “I” statements instead to tell someone how you feel or to get your point across. Instead of saying, “You never help around the house”, try “I could really use your help so we can spend more quality time together.”

10. Collect your thoughts before speaking

Stop and collect your thoughts before speaking in the heat of the moment. It is all too easy to say something you may regret later. When having an argument take a few seconds to think before the word fly out of your mouth. It is also good to let others have the space they need to do the same thing.

11. Repeat a mantra

Repeating a mantra is a good way to help you learn how to control anger. Having a phrase or a single word to repeat is a good way to refocus your angry feelings. “Calm down,” “It is not worth it” and “Relax” are all good. Find something that is easy to remember and works for you.

12. Talk it out

Do you have someone to talk to when you get angry? Someone who will listen and give you perspective?

Talk to someone you trust. Get your anger out. It will take a weight off your shoulders. Just remember though, venting about someone or all the things someone has done wrong may only make everything worse. Venting does not always help you feel better.

It is important that the person you talk to has a calming influence and can help you develop anger management strategies or help you work out solutions. Just venting will not do that. And it is unfair to use your friend solely as a sounding board.

13. Try relaxation techniques

Try relaxation techniques when you feel your anger rising. There are many exercises you can use to reduce it. Breathing exercises are an excellent way to calm yourself down. You can do them quickly no matter where you are. Whether you are out at dinner, at work or in front of the kids, taking deep breathes will quickly calm you down. It releases your anger, stress and frustration without others even noticing.

Keep in mind though, breathing exercises take practice. But the more you do them, the more effective they will be. Learning breathing exercises is excellent for helping you to learn how to control anger immediately.

14. Use progressive muscle relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation is another good relaxation technique to use when your temper threatens to take over. It is also a good way to deal with how you feel in a discreet way. All you need to do is to tense each group of muscles and then slowing relax them. Start at your toes and work up through your body to your head while, at the same time, taking long, slow breaths.

15. Avoid holding grudges

Holding a grudge is not good for you. Forgiving someone is much more powerful. When you let anger and other negative emotions take over, it is difficult to feel anything positive. By forgiving someone you can both learn from the situation. It will also strengthen your relationship.

16. Chill out

Take the time to chill out when your anger takes hold. Do something that makes you feel better and that you enjoy. For example:

  • Go for a walk on the beach.
  • Work out in the garden.
  • Listen to you favourite music.
  • Read a book.
  • Listen to an audio in the Boost Library on the Blissiree app.

17. When you calm down

When you calm down and are thinking more clearly, express how you feel. Do it in a nonconfrontational way but be assertive. Talk abut your concerns. Be clear and direct, and avoid hurting the other person and do not try to control them.

18. Walk away

With your temper threatening to boil over, it is almost impossible to deal with a situation in a constructive way. When you feel yourself about to lose it, walk away. This does not mean you will not deal with it later. Walk away long enough to calm down. This will help you deal with things better when you feel calmer.

19. Be aware of when you need help

Learning how to control anger immediately is often challenging. So if it gets too hard or you anger is out of control and you are hurting the people around you, it is time to seek help. Even try the positive auditory stimuli technique through the Blissiree app.

Positive Auditory Stimuli Technique

The positive auditory stimuli technique (PAST) targets the unconscious brain to change cognitive behaviour. This works because all emotional and mental problems usually have their foundation in this area. It retrains the brain’s unhealthy patterns via the unconscious part of the brain.

There are seven major factors that contribute to mental illness—stress, negativity, worry, fear, dwelling on the past, low self-esteem and a lack of confidence. While 60% of these factors are genetic, 40% are conditioned. Everyone inherits a blueprint at the time of birth. These create default patterns such as how you see the world, and how you react and behave.

Working with the unconscious brain to change conscious behaviour may help address inherited thought patterns and behaviour that are the root cause of your anger issues.

By accessing the innate intelligence of the unconscious brain, the PAST may help your brain to change negative, ineffective experiences so they become happier and joyful.

PAST also compliments other ways to help you mange anger better. It is totally natural and will not interfere with any medication you are taking or counselling for anger management. Try the Emotional Empowerment Program using the Blissiree app. Download it now to discover how it can help you get fast relief. Try it for free.

Key takeaways

There is a lot you can do to help you learn how to control anger immediately:

  • Get out and get moving.
  • Use relaxation techniques.
  • Walk away to calm down.
  • Know when to seek help.

Look after your health and wellbeing

Now there is a way to get immediate help to better deal with your anger.

Download Blissiree now!

Access the free Emotional Empowerment Program Introductory Session today through the Blissiree app. 98% of people notice a change after the first session. The results speak for themselves.

Don’t just believe us. The evidence stacks up. A peer-review study published by the European Journal of Medical and Health Sciences reported significant reductions in anxiety, depression, stress and worry using this program.

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Dr Karen Viera, Ph.D. talks about Blissiree and its mental health programs.

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